Young Girl’s Nightmare: Forced Marriage Leads to Daily Abuse

For Rubie, a 15-year-old from Wales, what should have been a joyous occasion turned into a harrowing nightmare. Forced into marriage with a man twice her age during a family trip to Bangladesh, Rubie faced daily sexual abuse and became pregnant by the age of 16. Her story sheds light on the grim realities of forced marriages and the tragic consequences they can bring.

Rubie’s upbringing was relatively normal, characterized by a large family and a sheltered childhood by the seaside. Raised in a deeply religious household, she and her seven siblings faced strict limitations, particularly regarding romantic relationships. As she approached her teenage years, Rubie and her sister secretly began dating, a decision that would soon alter the course of their lives. Following her sister’s departure from their parents’ control, Rubie’s family shifted their focus onto her, contemplating her future without her consent.

During what was presented as a family vacation, Rubie’s fate was sealed. Her family arranged for her to marry a man in his thirties, a decision made without her knowledge. She recalled the moment her mother pointed out her intended spouse, noting the pain visible on her mother’s face. “I just remember the look of pain and sadness on her face,” Rubie reflected. Initially believing her husband to be closer to her age, the harsh reality of their age difference struck her when she saw their marriage certificate months later.

As the wedding approached, Rubie felt a disconnection from reality, a feeling that persisted into her marriage. “A couple of days after [the wedding] was when the rape started, and it was just continuous after that,” she shared. Only weeks into her marriage, she discovered she was pregnant. In a drastic move, her family arranged for her return to Wales, leaving her husband behind in India.

Confronted with her circumstances, Rubie experienced profound despair, leading her to attempt suicide. Following a life-altering moment when she heard her baby’s heartbeat during a medical scan, she resolved to continue living for her child. By October, she gave birth to her daughter, but her struggles were far from over. Rubie’s husband was later brought to the UK, and after a brief attempt to flee with her child, her family forced her to return home.

In 2000, a chance encounter with a school friend provided Rubie with the opportunity to escape her situation. After revealing her harrowing experiences, she was taken to a safe place where she contacted the police. However, due to a lack of understanding around honor-based abuse, help arrived late. Nevertheless, she left her family home with little more than a Tesco bag of clothes and her daughter.

Despite her hopes for a better future, Rubie found herself in another abusive relationship, this time after becoming a mother again in 2002. It took five additional years for her to break free from this cycle of violence. Reflecting on her past, she stated, “I went right back to what the eight-year-old me had wanted to do and achieve before any of this had happened. I wanted to see the world, and so that’s what I did.”

Now at 42, Rubie is determined to use her experiences to help others. She has become an ambassador for the Sundial Centre, actively working to raise awareness about forced marriages and honor-based abuse. “I need other survivors to realize that there is hope and help out there; you just have to reach out for it,” she emphasized.

Rubie’s journey illustrates not only the personal struggles faced by survivors of forced marriage but also highlights the urgent need for increased awareness and support systems for those impacted by such abuses. Through her advocacy work, she aims to empower others to seek help and reclaim their lives.